arraci

there will be a time when i can not take your jokes, mocks, and laughing. there will be a time when i am going to state that please stop, i can not take it and listen it anymore. it is about to burst. but i am trying to holding back my anger and madness for you. if i am not in the good mood in the future, i can not guarantee that our friendship is going to the way it was if this is really happen . that's why i asked you to stop cause i am not a certain stuff to be laughed for the others. so, please stop before i get more irritated with you.. arraci?

a conversation

when you were in the conversation, it is hard to hide your feeling, true feeling, with your opposite, attractive opposite. if you have got really into the conversation,and it made you honest to yourself and with each other. you have become so open and kind, kinda never ending chatter. that is a conversation that make you tickel, happy, smile, bitter, a bit upset, sweet, laugh, and other sense. you were feeling all of those senses. even more, your opposite is the person that you have thought for this long time is not really treat you in a good way. and you just found out that she or he just as thrill as you are.

P.S i dont expected much cause i know, i have said to myself, that this thing is not my style.. but i am pleased to keep on this conversation or else.

I am sitting in our living room with only Uni around me. We have kinda left out, Ibu and Ayah now in Jakarta, enjoy their old time life, while Uda since he is, literally, not live in this home but he has been back and forth from Tanjung Enim. But he promised to back on 16th of July cause he have final exams. Well, I spent my afternoon with training at Kodam. Today we talked about something had done or you can say causative form then continously with Palembang favorite food. I got Model Palembang for my presentation theme.

Anyway, on this noon, I spent my time watch the final season of Smallville but it is not yet been finished. I was wondering how Clark Kent looks the same when they start the first season ot this series in 2000. I mean he is not even aging at his present. Well, Tom welling has his own secret how to make his face steady as ten years ago as innocent face still remains on his face.

I tend to end this note with a pray, I hope tomorrow I can meet my friends, we planned to have some meeting, hang out to share stories. We always do this thing -mean girl- big time and that’s why I extremely missed them. I hope our plan can go well.

xoxo-

It’s already about 4 months I am not post something in my blog. Well, I am kinda have a soul for writting now because I saw someone post about his blog. Maybe this is the good start to write something. Well, we should shared everything though mostly my post is all about myself but I hope people who read those posts have something or maybe mt writting had been inspired someone for some change. Lol.. well today I got bad and good news. I prefer to mention the bad first..

--jenj..jeng..jeng—

I got Be for my Accounting Theory class which I always be a good listener for this class and I have a target from the first beginning of this smeester, I want it so bad to get an A for this course. Instead of get an A with all efforts and something like you would say--I have the soul for this one—this lecturer gave me B. Well, I am still grateful for this. and the good news is I got an A for my ALK class which I got C before on fourth semester and same for my PI class. . Alhamdulillah..

HOW about things I have done today..erm..actually there are nothing but I spent my time rewatch the series that I have been watch about 5 times. Lol. Useless and I felt no entertainment while I was watching. So I consider today is just another million day of being sluggard.

Well, that’s my day and I am willing to post the other post next day... :)

Finding your princess and prince.

Let’s start with.. I was shocking and I am shocking.

Realizing that now, I am alone in this earth, at second hand. My father was dead this February and I have lost my Mother on 2005 pretty enough to makes me gone crazy. I mean none of person who is really care about me, none of my family tree would die for me, and I lost my mate of debate of issues like politics, religion, concepts, and life. And If you read this note, please don’t say sorry for it. it just makes me feel worst and worst. So just continue the reading and hear me, I am shocking, out. Losing their both is not pretty enough makes me gone crazy, I mean I am not losing my mind after all.

Maybe it is kinda fascinating title for you. Finding your princess and prince. But this note didn’t guide you how to find your man or woman nor what types of “prince” or princess” that would be fit for you. It talked about my friend, my male friend , who make me shocking, mad, cried out loud, a drop of my tear, and confuse. Today, he was whispering something. I said if this is not worthy enough to take my pleasure I am gonna kick you ( as I was in the midst of interesting conversation too). So, he stopped and continued. Seeing me and all of us. A second.” I have news and I would like you to know it” he said. And other friend burst out. .Is it the news about your married? and then he smile. But he never stated that he is now—freaky little husband or happily little husband.

Noooooooooooo……what the hell on earth!

He just having shy smiling as I just like worm which is just got pouring by heat water. You can say I am terrible not thrilled by how happy he is. I can't just believe in him. So, I was searching his eyeball, trying to find the sight that telling me “ Ha…you really bought it!” In other words, it is just practical joke. At the first stage, I wasn’t believe it. At the second stage, I am in between. At the third stage, I said to my self, he just tells the fake thing or maybe it is just a dream. Eventually, I was just stay very still and giving in but you know it is probably a scheme. And the moment when a drop of my tears out that the moment I realize that you are not just you are like I now you before, the moment when I know that you just devastated your life, and the moment when I am feeling you at ease and I am happy for that. It fuses in one tears, just one tear but leaving a huge question mark and a universe of confusing. You just shocking me, my today, crash my soul, my heart, my mind, my mood, and sight of life – ok, I am overwhelming now-- and you just crazy as always.


You said you still the old one. But I just can't handle the married man. You are not too cool anymore. I couldn’t stick with that. I am sorry if it is broke your heart. I was so mad at you at that moment– no reason-. i know you have a right to be happy include having someone that always stand by you in a good and in a bad but I just can't deal with happily 20 years old man who just got married. I mean why.
People say, I should happy for you, so I am telling you and not to forget this…I love you and I’ll be your supporter and wishing your married is pouring with the blessing of God --oh God I can't believe I said this stuff to you. And I am sorry that I have been how I have been in the place and in this note or like you just did something against the law ^_^ and I am chilling out now as my shocking fade.
Actually, I am still hoping that he texted me “//can't believe it you just bought the joke//” . Maybe I am not going to believe in him until I saw him in the wed party with his co-star sitting like statue, make up, and stuffs. And I hope you read this.

P.S what the heaven on earth for you!

Donald always got anger and The Tree.

Picture above. That’s my new hobby. Painting. Fun and Free for me to put any colors on it whether it against the nature. That I can paint the color of soil with purple one or something. And since I like to read Donald when I was childhood and I got the new one of the comic recently—free of charge, it’s my pleasure to paint Donald as well I can put my tender age memories in the air. And the moment I start painted both there is sense—good one. I just put my smile on. I love colors. I do some experiments about blending one color with others, stirred, and found out what those becoming new one. Surprising and get to used with it. love painting.

childhood

the curly one is Alya, she is my niece and she called me Ante and of course the cute one is my sister Ririn. they both actually were in the same age and even in the same age Alya should called Ririn as Ante too. Alya is girl who can befriended to anyone as Ririn too, they both stick with each other and it is really cheers the day up..

FACES

face that I love. face that makes my face younger and if i live with this child i may smile everyday . she is always be sparkling. i think.

there is a pic i forgot to rotate ^^

process

you may twisted by the process so.. you have to see the pictures from the very bottom..

those picture is the process of how Haikal my little brother trying to catch up Ririn's hair cause he was annoyed and fed up by what Ririn has done to him. those picture i have taken with my Cookie 2.0 mega pixel camera and with 6 sequel captures. I love to see how Haikal's face, he was completely happy and satisfy by drawed out her hair. fortunately for Ririn this is legal action is taken place in our yard so there is not hi-screaming and tears. actually this is a daily scene happens in our home, especially in the room. they are fighting over time. i just enjoy the show. and believe me there is no one get hurt in this scheme. lol



P.S gonna miss them much

1-day

officially holiday in Muara Dua was over on a day ago, so it makes me more cheerful to see what my day become in case i am now spending my remains day off in Palembang. well, let see what the city has already. so, i am quite fortune for having Tia here, she is available for me, in order she has no anything too just like me. lonely day in off days. so I said why we just do hang out, buy ticket for cool movie..

i plan to go to DVD stores too. we are gonna see how i am so out of new films..

kagak update.

selalu ketinggalan informasi atau menganggap remeh sebuah ajakan...

dari ajakan jadi lo seagames yang saya anggap remeh dan akhirnya ketempat registrasi setelah mereka tutup..

info ke thailand untuk acara konferensi pemuda, telat dapet info, yang ngajak juga udah pergi kesana.

sekarang info konferensi di aussie, telat juga..

hedeh seharusnya saya yang lebih proaktif dalam mencari informasi..

pokoknya sebelum lulus harus sudah mengikuti event internasional!!! penting tuh buat CV...

bored day comes 2 part 2

Bapisah Untuak Batamu
oleh LOLI ASIR

Babega kumbang malayang-layang
Ulah bungo kambang di jambanga
Indak ka bilang jo uda batamu pandang
Namun cinto alun ta sampaikan

Mamabantang awan di hari patang
Alun tabanam si matohari
Samakin lamo uda denai pandang
Disinan cinto makin manjadi

Layuah bungo nan kambang
Kumbang bamegah tabang malayang
Uda tolonglah tenggang
Buliah cinto denai sampaikan

22.23 p.m
this song is nice and have deep meaning. when I try to reach out the meaning like I watch a couple in love roles out with the storyline of this song. And I imagine that couple is my Mom and my Dad. I remember when my Mom called out my Dad "Uda"...I missed that.

And the way the female singer delivered this song is really knocked out your heart. You can feel that. I love to hear this song over and over. But the best part of this song is... " Disinan cinto makin manajadi." Just wondering what kind of expression's out when the female singer made the video song.

I texted Nia and said " Nia pokoknyo semester ^ Nisa harus pergi ke Padang" tehre is flames in my heart. On my 20 y.o I have to go to Padang Allah please..please..please make this happen. Amin.

"Don't love New York anymore. Now, a lot mind for Padang. Not cause I am Padangnees but concern bout the culture n nature.. Just LOVE Padang. Have to go there this semester. Amin."

NB. please do correct if the lyrics is having some mistakes cause I got that from listening on my own player.

bored day comes 2 part 1

11st of January. Well…well, I am getting older everyday and soon on 13th of January, I am officially 20 y.o . Song title from Britney might suit with me “… I am not a girl not yet a woman….” Lol. Today, it is sort of tough early day to be passed. Everyday I am realizing about how people out there are getting smart and improve. I mean how they change their life into betterment. And not just because they are interested in with something new or in order too get new lifestyle but it more about change the life, your future.
Whereas, I am now on just sit and stand for same ground that I have yesterday. I do some checking info from some people on Facebook, great spirit of young people, seeing their motivation, their achievements, and their belief and compare with me who do not have something great either. I am just get stunning of what they have and what they do and just get shocking, how I am so lived in may comfort zone life. We never open our eyes about things like that. I am feeling like I have spent many years of my calendar life to watch what I have become now in front of my laptop talking about young people greatness not talking about what I have achieved in my life.
Well.. I can talk about me on this whole story but there is nothing to talk about me. I am nothing though there are some achievements I made, I mean every one do achievement, something can make them be proud of, but it’s just a bit achievement. Everybody dreams are special, we are special but why those dream just fading away and we just say this is enough for me or this is a pride that I can take though everyone around me does the same.
See, how we got this so far.

bored day comes 1

After every things has passed away, events, and story. I am somewhat freaky over my self, I mean it is been a long time am not belong with old-me, with I used to be. I was on the track of self-destruction and did not even realize it occurs. Therefore, I guess I am now on the state of realizing what I have become and what things I should fix. It is quite a while even recognizing this situations until it comes with my-father-got-his- attack -from –the- heart (what a word).
Now, I am feeling better but there are still some annoying stuffs, I don’t know what it is. It is bothering me and I don’t even see clearly, what happened. Maybe it just the remains of self-destruction. It is the time for me dealing with self-improvement. However, due to holiday time I am not found anything I can do for self-improvement. Well, it might be this, writing, self-expression.
Only writing? Hell yeah!
I am thinking another thing like go to the some entertain place. Though I have to spend some money. Consider, I am over with just sitting like a fool in the house, just playing around with my laptop, TV, and phone, take a nap. Time has just crawling around. And what I am doing today is just the same with what I was doing yesterday. No progress!! About go to some place, how’s theater? There is Narnia 3 playing. I plan tomorrow with Tia but she just said how if we come to the theater on Thursday. Well, Thursday is my birthday, I plan to go alone to the theater too, and I hope there is cool film. But how pathetic I am! Spending my birthday lonely. But I love to.
Anyway, I am missing my best friends. Yuli, Nia, Pia, Vhani, and Paskah. There was a time I am feeling like no one understands me and I do not need anyone to understand me because I can solve my own problems. And even I have one, he or she can not even imagine what complicated stuffs I face ( I am feeling like I am complicated and special!) and give some advices which is, I conclude, not worthy and waste my time. Now, those girls always are supporting me and gimme some advices somewhat religious. We have shared some problem, chat, and even mock. Girlfriends world is more fascinating and cheerful. I thought it was all about pink, dolls, boys ( when I was junior grades). Now it is cozier. Ngabuburit, laughing, and feeding. I mean we love feeding ourselves in Pak De’s House.
I like becoming mean girl.
Actually, I got upset too with my friends who have been in their own town now. They didn’t even see how hurt I am. I have to celebrate my birthday alone! See, again, PATHETIC! And I ascertain there is no treat for you guys! Just kidding! Maybe I am just not pleasant with this 20 years old as I am so excited with my teen’s celebrations. I got the whole point of being 20 years old from blog walking. So many restricted and you have to be mature on your own ages. Please MATURE!
Things are changes from your teens and there are some burdens for me if someone asks me how old are you..I guess it doesn’t matter at all at any cost. But I am just not comfort to tell people I am 20 y.o and it might make some cost, I mean when I get depress I am going to expend money for feeding my depress heart!! Haaa.. seems like am out of the story line, even from beginning. Hey, it just talking dude!!