One quote from fame person, G-Dragon, he said that when we have achieved our dreams, there was one point I thought to stop making a good music cause I have already fulfilled my dream, yet it made me hate that I have achieved it.
It was kind of similar to me. For I have one goal that had become dream came true, i got a chance to study only for months in the U.S, I consider I have my dream became real. I feel like I don't have any obligation to have another one. That is why I am feeling my life have stopped cause I have achieved one of my dreams at the same time. I am feeling stupid right now. I pointed out one thing from successful person, who made an history on their own, they had a background issues in order to motivate them to succeed. They passed their hardship and made a enormous effort to be a great person. I should have ashamed of myself. I keep thinking that I have enough hardship, I lost my parents while everyone else has a good life, to be love, to feel care from theirs. I search for an excuse so that I can move on with light heart without feeling pressured.
I should have more hardworking in order to achieve them. at this point I am just doing my-so-so to get them. I don't give what I got. like I don't care if it will happen or not. It feels like I don't want it become true, but actually I know what I want. I think I am at the bottom of my fighting spirit. Life is much different after university graduation. I got into a new-real-life, where your struggling efforts, knowledge are required. I have noticed that but I am pretend that it ain't big deal for me. I kind of just go with the flow, instead of being active with my personal attempt and my surrounding. I am being so ideal where I have one standard to apply for one job. I shouldn't have acted like that I think cause I need experience whereas my friends have their job, I am staying still, sitting on this bed, writing on this blog, complaining about everything, and I am not an effective-using-time person at all.