After every things has passed away, events, and story. I am somewhat freaky over my self, I mean it is been a long time am not belong with old-me, with I used to be. I was on the track of self-destruction and did not even realize it occurs. Therefore, I guess I am now on the state of realizing what I have become and what things I should fix. It is quite a while even recognizing this situations until it comes with my-father-got-his- attack -from –the- heart (what a word).
Now, I am feeling better but there are still some annoying stuffs, I don’t know what it is. It is bothering me and I don’t even see clearly, what happened. Maybe it just the remains of self-destruction. It is the time for me dealing with self-improvement. However, due to holiday time I am not found anything I can do for self-improvement. Well, it might be this, writing, self-expression.
Only writing? Hell yeah!
I am thinking another thing like go to the some entertain place. Though I have to spend some money. Consider, I am over with just sitting like a fool in the house, just playing around with my laptop, TV, and phone, take a nap. Time has just crawling around. And what I am doing today is just the same with what I was doing yesterday. No progress!! About go to some place, how’s theater? There is Narnia 3 playing. I plan tomorrow with Tia but she just said how if we come to the theater on Thursday. Well, Thursday is my birthday, I plan to go alone to the theater too, and I hope there is cool film. But how pathetic I am! Spending my birthday lonely. But I love to.
Anyway, I am missing my best friends. Yuli, Nia, Pia, Vhani, and Paskah. There was a time I am feeling like no one understands me and I do not need anyone to understand me because I can solve my own problems. And even I have one, he or she can not even imagine what complicated stuffs I face ( I am feeling like I am complicated and special!) and give some advices which is, I conclude, not worthy and waste my time. Now, those girls always are supporting me and gimme some advices somewhat religious. We have shared some problem, chat, and even mock. Girlfriends world is more fascinating and cheerful. I thought it was all about pink, dolls, boys ( when I was junior grades). Now it is cozier. Ngabuburit, laughing, and feeding. I mean we love feeding ourselves in Pak De’s House.
I like becoming mean girl.
Actually, I got upset too with my friends who have been in their own town now. They didn’t even see how hurt I am. I have to celebrate my birthday alone! See, again, PATHETIC! And I ascertain there is no treat for you guys! Just kidding! Maybe I am just not pleasant with this 20 years old as I am so excited with my teen’s celebrations. I got the whole point of being 20 years old from blog walking. So many restricted and you have to be mature on your own ages. Please MATURE!
Things are changes from your teens and there are some burdens for me if someone asks me how old are you..I guess it doesn’t matter at all at any cost. But I am just not comfort to tell people I am 20 y.o and it might make some cost, I mean when I get depress I am going to expend money for feeding my depress heart!! Haaa.. seems like am out of the story line, even from beginning. Hey, it just talking dude!!
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