Happy Adha anyway..and i don't meant for ruining the Adha means.
why people always said
" Oh i could not celebrate and laughing with my mom, my dad, and my brothers..and all of my family on my family tree's graph.."
Oh really!!! why while you said those words you stare it my eyes and my face then see the difference before and after you do saying like crying baby-way and whining over it.
i hate it, when people said that.
you know what, i don't even celebrate and say i am sorry to ayah, ibu...for this three years Adha is passed. i really feeling terrible and get angry for it.
just a minute ago i heard my neighbour screaming out : Gilang, Gery sini dulu, mano anak papa ni, Salaman dulu..."
ayah is used to do that when we were done Adha prayer. ayah was always the one who came the last after pray, his voice cracking and said.." mano anak ayah ye..." then i go after him with hug and kiss...while Ibu prepare for the impatiently eaters.. i used to do those things long ago.
Allah, why a day, like Adha, i feel don't belong anymore. i feel really terrible when these day come cause i could not celebrate it with my family. and i feel so wicked cause this is the thrice i do not go for Adha pray. Adha may not mine since 2005. with not Ibu and ayah around me, i am in the darkness...
anyway, i go hate myself.
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